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EFL/ESL Matching Exercise
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JOKE DIALOGUES |
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1st MAN:
I've just bought my wife a bottle of toilet water for £100.
2nd MAN: ....
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NOW CHOOSE THE CORRECT PUNCH LINES
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.About
six carriages, sir.
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But who
wants to eat dirt?
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Dead?
I didn't even know it was ill.
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I don't see
how they can make a profit selling this chicken at 2p per pound.
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It was
clean when I got in.
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Juveniles
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Long time,
no sea, sir.
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No.
It will be round and flat, sir.
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Only once,
sir.
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What's his
other leg called?
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You could
have had some from my loo for nothing.
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TEACHER:
What do you know about the Dead Sea?
PUPIL: ....
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TEACHER:
What do you call the small rivers that flow into the river Nile?
PUPIL: ....
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1st BOY:
Do you always bath in dirty water?
2nd BOY: .....
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STRANGER:
I'm looking for a man with a wooden leg called Johnson.
LOCAL: ....
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DINER:
Waiter! Will my hamburger be long?
WAITER: ....
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1st
FRIEND: I know a
cafe where we can eat dirt cheap.
2nd
FRIEND: .....
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DINER:
Waiter! What's wrong with this fish?
WAITER: .....
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CORONER:
And what were your wife's last words sir?
HUSBAND: ....
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NERVOUS
PASSENGER: How often do
planes of this type crash?
AIR
HOSTESS ....
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PASSENGER:
Guard! How long will
the next train be?
GUARD:
.....
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EVEN
MORE JOKES!
ESL/EFL
MATCHING EXERCISES - JOKES & PUNCHLINES
Also
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<>()<>
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ANSWER KEY FOR THE JOKE
DIALOGUES
These
jokes include: misunderstood words, sarcasm, ignorance, pun answers,
ambiguous word order, etc.) |
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1st MAN:
I've just bought my wife a bottle of toilet water for £100.
(eau de toilette)
2nd MAN:
You could have had some from my loo for nothing.
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TEACHER:
What do you know about the Dead Sea?
PUPIL:
Dead? I didn't
even know it was ill.
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TEACHER:
What do you call the small rivers that flow into the river
Nile?
PUPIL:
Juveniles
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1st BOY:
Do you always bath in dirty water?
2nd BOY:
It was clean when I got in.
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STRANGER:
I'm looking for a man with a wooden leg called Johnson.
(AMBIGUOUS WORD ORDER)
(NOTE: ...a man called Johnson with a wooden leg)
LOCAL:
What's his other leg called?
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DINER:
Waiter! Will
my hamburger be long?
(TIME)
WAITER:
No. It will be
round and flat, sir. (SIZE)
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1st FRIEND:
I know a cafe where we can eat dirt cheap.
(DIRT = VERY)
2nd FRIEND:
But who wants to eat dirt? (DIRT = EARTH)
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DINER:
Waiter! What's
wrong with this fish?
WAITER:
Long time, no sea, sir.
(NOTE:
Long time, no see = I haven't seen you for a long time.)
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CORONER: And
what were your wife's last words sir?
HUSBAND: I don't
see how they can make a profit selling this chicken at 2p per
pound.
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NERVOUS PASSENGER:
How often do planes of this type crash?
AIR HOSTESS:
Only once, sir.
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PASSENGER:
Guard! How long will the next train be? (TIME)
GUARD:
About six carriages, sir. (LENGTH)
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IMPORTANT
COPYRIGHT NOTICE
©
The jokes, shown below, are presented as matching exercises to
test your understanding. All
examples have been taken from "The Bio-Degradable Joke
Book" by Teresa Green. The
publisher is MAMMOTH and the book is printed on recycled paper. |
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